We need a hard-boiled, no-nonsense, mean
son-of-a-bitch with a bad reputation who ain't afraid to cock-whip the
shit out of some randomly selected pussy-ass billionaire on live tv
during his annual State of the Union Address just to make a point and
let the mega-rich know that NO ONE is above the law here in the land of
the free and the home of the brave. In short, we need a man who just
DOES NOT GIVE A FUCK.
America, that man is me.
Thats right, ME. David Randall Blythe. Ol' D.
Randall. Uncle Randy. Wassisname, that dude from that one band that got
drunk and fought in a skirt. I love the USA like a nerd loves D&D, I
am thoroughly disgusted with the state of affairs, and I am ready,
willing, and able to FUCK SHIT UP without a micro-second's hesitation in
order to fix what ails this country. All you have to do is elect me as
the next President of the United States of America and I'll handle the
rest.
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